Being a Bipolar Mom… the highs and the lows

Being a Bipolar Mom… the highs and the lows

Although being a mom is tough, I have learned to adapt. Before I could be very selfish and focus just on myself for a whole day; now, I have no choice, I have to be more selfless. The laundry and dishes always have to be done, because we need clothes and bottles. I need to focus on baby development and loving my daughter more than I ever did before. To be a good role model for her, I basically have to be the best human being possible. This means watching little to no TV, think about my career and how she will look at me, and keeping the house clean and tidy.

But this is all a good thing. I am glad she is in my life because I feel she completes me, that she is an answer to prayer, and I believe great things will come from her if I train her up to be a strong christian woman. She is likely to be intelligent yet emotionally mature, and she will have two caring parents guiding her spiritually to protect her heart from pain. And we will raise her up to be scientific and technical, as well as creative and passionate. I believe she will make a difference in the world.

I am not going to lie that sometimes I get a little down… thinking that I have to be there for her for the rest of her life as a mom makes me grieve the life my husband and I once had. And it is daunting; how can I make sure I am always emotionally present for her? But this is short lived; usually, I am more than thrilled to take care of my darling little one. And I trust that my lord will guide me as a mom to somehow always be there for her even when I physically have a hard time.

She is 5 months old right now, and she is doing amazing. She has hit all her milestones ahead of time, and she has two loving parents and grandparents doting on her when they can. It’s been amazing to have her in our lives, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Should we have more children? That has yet to be decided. But it is still early. So we shall see what God has planned for us.