Dealing with Anger as a Christian During a Pandemic

Dealing with Anger as a Christian During a Pandemic

I have to admit, and I am sure it is true for many others, but I have been struggling with anger and losing my sense of control over my environment. When something doesn’t go exactly my way, I get frustrated, bitter, irritable, and annoyed. When I perceive that I have been treated unfairly or unjustly, I am fuming with outrage. And this isn’t easy for a Christian. We, as a group, tend to not express anger very well. We might be sarcastic, or have passive anger, or just ignore the feeling but meltdown in sadness or depression. That is because we are taught not to be quick to anger and that hate is like murdering a brother. However, being angry is not a sin. This needs to be emphasized. Being angry is not a sin. It is what you do in your anger that is sinful.

Today, I was really angry. I was furious., actually. I perceived several injustices happening to me the last few days and I was upset. But instead of dealing with it bluntly and abruptly like I often do, I went for a drive. At first, it made me even more angry. I was sitting in my rage, and I had no one to talk to or express it. Once I parked at Walmart, I looked through my contacts to see who I can talk to. I tried my husband, but he was working so was not readily available. So I tried my friend Rebecca. She always gives me advice that is from a stance of a strong and independant woman and mother, and she always helps me feel strong when I need to feel strong. And she helped me, eventually, see what I needed to do to feel better. Once I drove home, I was able to deal with the situation that frustrated me and actually cleared up the issues very nicely. I felt better.

I have a hard time with my anger because I tend to quickly question someone’s character if they don’t see things the way I do when I’m right. When someone else is so different, it can’t be me that is wrong. But I came to realize that you can have two people and a fight who see it two different ways, and both be right. If you are dealing with a good person, no matter the kind of personality they have, any disagreement can probably be reasonably explained. Essentially, I got angry but I could have prevented it by being patient, understanding, and communicative about my frustration.

My daughter has been going through temper tantrums. She wants something, she must have it, she can’t have it, and cries. At first, it was trying my patience. I am so empathetic, so when she’s upset, I am most certainly upset too. So I realized that if we are to get through this, we are going to need to let her calm down and cry it out when she is being unreasonable with her request. I need this so that I can have a level head when I am driving, and in general. Sometimes, we can appease her. But sometimes, life sucks as a toddler and you need to cry. That’s okay too.

My husband and I had a fight on the weekend. On top of having a toddler who tantrums and being in a pandemic, my husband has been working overtime, at over +80 hours a week. It has been trying times, to say the least. When he left is old job for a new job, he felt guilty for leaving his old company in the dust without a developer, so while he is working full-time at his new job, he’s essentially still working his old job. But we passed a tipping point of frustration. He can’t do this anymore. He has been doing this for a month, and I have been taking care of everything else, so he decided to say no to them for the time being; that is, until he can organize another business to be their main development resource. So hopefully this weekend will be the first weekend we will have in a month.

I don’t feel guilt for being angry. These have been trying times to say the least. And I know that being angry is better than being depressed and unmotivated, and it is always better to feel something than nothing. Some women are hard on themselves and don’t express anger very well, either by guilt tripping or being despondent. Neither are good. Get angry, be outraged. Maybe something will get done, then. Being passive aggressive or guilt-tripping doesn’t resolve anything, and usually just creates even more anger. Be strong. We will get through this.