November 26th Progress Report…

November 26th Progress Report…

Measurements

Weight: 158.4 lbs

Bust: 38 in
Waist: 34 in
Hips: 42 in (-0.5 in)
Butt: 43 in (-0.5 in)
Thighs: 26 in (-0.5 in ea)
Calves: 14.5 in
Triceps: 14 in (+0.5 in)

Since November 13th…
Overall weight lost: 1.6 lbs
Overall inches lost: 1 inches

Lost 9 inches since September

Here is what I look like now:

Exercised regularly and no dessert. Lowered calories but may need to eat a wee bit more I think yesterday I was at 1500 calories. Too much change too fast. Had green tea (figure tea) as well which seemed to help as well.

In other news…

So sad. Today I took part in a Christmas parade but I cried like 4 times. It didn’t help for a number of reasons, but I was just so conscious of the fact that I had no one there with me. It would have been different if I wasn’t married or didn’t have family. But I do. I don’t know if I am jealous of other people’s apparent normalcy… Or maybe me and my husband’s fight earlier about giving up kids if they aren’t normal, or about how I wanted to go to the mall and my husband damned me to hell… or maybe it was the fact that I had a psychologist’s appointment and realized that I’ve had a lot of drama in my life… or maybe it was the guy I like… seeing him with his wife and children. It is very hard. What is wrong with me? Do I attract drama?
At the parade, I knew he was going to be there with his family. So I was trying to play it cool. But at one point I saw someone new and tried to see who it was, possibly my eyes were blurry but it finally focused and I saw that it was him, and he was also looking over! For several seconds anyway. It was good, and actually comforting oddly. Then at one point I was standing by the float and he came over in my direction with his son. So I asked, “What is your son’s name?” And he said, “Adam”, to which I replied, “Hey Adam, how are you?” His son did not respond and explained that he was tired and wanted to be in bed or some such thing. And also comforting is that he stayed by me. So if they say that if a guy likes you, he’ll be around you and single you out in a crowd, these are definitely signs then.
The psychologist said that divorce is not 100% wrong. In cases of marital infidelity, it is permissible. I guess because it is considered a contract but if you sleep with someone else, you are no longer bound by that contract. But in the Catholic sense, my marriage is not valid as it was not done in the eyes of God. So I am living in mortal sin. This is highly confusing.

 

I like the article that I read that if you use “if/then” situations, even if you can’t stop wanting someone/something, you can prepare and plan for situations that might tempt you. I obviously don’t want to go from one guy to another again, so I have to figure out who I am.